Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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