I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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