mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
