Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
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She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
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Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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