You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
