Are we in a gay sports bar?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
