I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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