There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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