So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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