Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize