Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
