I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
