That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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