So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
