you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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