Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
