you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
