I need to stop coming to work sober
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
