Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
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My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
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We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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