If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
