I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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