Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
