Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
