What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
