All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need Xanax blowdarts
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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