he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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