I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
A+ Viking dick
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
