How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
