Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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