Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
