ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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