WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
