Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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