I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
