I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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