Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
