god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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