when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
