I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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