is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
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Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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