We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
