Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
