i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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