I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.