tell your sister to shave her snatch
and i looked up. we had an audience...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.