we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize