she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My Sexting was not on an AP level
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
