I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
