Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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