Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
