Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
