I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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