And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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