just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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