Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
