you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
