youre lurking in front of me
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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