I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
