They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize