you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
