I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
