Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
