Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
