I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
