Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
