I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
