I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize