have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Randomize