I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Sext me about skeletons
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
